Now that I have given a brief explanation on where I have come from, the natural order of the story would be… Where am I going? As I am approaching the end of my current school studies, my friends and family ask me on a daily basis, “So… now what’s your plan?” 30 years on this earth, and what feels like an endless stream of planning. I can’t remember the last time, if any, that one of my plans unfolded accordingly, and yet, with each detour life presents me, I make yet, another new plan. I believe it’s was Albert Einstein who defined insanity as repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Ok Al, I get what your saying…. so where does that leave me now?
I got a one-way to ticket to Australia and thereafter, absolutely no plan!
Everyone who knows me, knows that this goes against everything that is me. I have always wanted to try an adventure like this, but never let myself. Mainly, because I believed doing something like this was so outside my personality. In my past, there have been times where simply the thought of living my life as casually as a gypsy, was enough to send the cells of my body into an overwhelming state of anxiety. Question’s like–what if’s…? and how will I’s…? and then what’s…? and can I really’s…?–have always had a tendency to take up the lion’s share of thoughts in my mind. What’s worse is, not once have I acted in the manner I predicted I would when placed in a new environment anyway. So that makes countless hours wasted on scenario’s, coupled with perfectly orchestrated solutions to problems, that for the most part, I will never even have to experience. I have come to wonder if I really need to hoard all these hypothetical method’s and action-plans, that just get stored somewhere in my brain’s purgatory. So, I am taking Einstein’s advice and I’m going try something a little different this time.
I have no idea my source of income, if any, when I get there. No estimate as to how long I’d like to stay–could be a month, could be a year. No inkling if I plan to stay in one city; travel around the country; or that entire region of the world. I do know there are a few things I’d like to do…like take lots of photos; and perhaps learn the guitar; spend lots of time with the few friends I know in Sydney; and I’d absolutely loved to continue to learn and to write.
I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t born with a manual, so I know there’s a chance I may look back and think that, this is by far, the stupid idea I ever tried (I can add it to the list)…but at least I would have a better idea what works for me. I realize I will never gain the ability to read the future, so the perpetual pre-planing for a million different story-lines that rarely come to fruition, is beginning to feel like a royal waste of time. As foreign of a concept this is to my regularly overzealous brain, I will actively attempt to drown out all the little voices and silence the question’s in my head. For my stay in Australia–just like every new day–I am going to look at each obstacle given to me in that moment, I will collect the data presented to me, and use the resources around me to survive! For now, my only plan for the next chapter is…to make my best effort to try and trust life.
Wish me luck.